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Happiness is inside job

Updated: Dec 4, 2019



“Happiness is an inside job. Don’t assign anyone else that much power over your life, ” said

Mandy Hale. Many people wait for something to happen or someone to make them happy.

You are responsible for your own life experiences. Whether you are seeking meaningful life

or happy life. If you expect others to make you happy, you will always be disappointed.

Being responsible means not blaming others for your unhappiness. It means figuring out

ways to be happy despite others’ (negative) behaviors and despite the external influences.


Viktor Frankl, author of the best-selling book, Man’s Search for Meaning says two of the

most important values in life are the experiential, or that which happens to us and attitudinal, or our response in difficult situations. “The one thing you can’t take away from me is the way I choose to respond to what you do to me. The last of one’s freedoms is to choose one’s attitude in any given circumstance,” he says. Don’t be easily discouraged by

unfavorable circumstances.


It’s rule number 4 of the best-selling book, 12 Rules For Life . Channel your brain to make a

better comparison in your long-term interest, growth, and happiness. Change the object of

comparison to yourself. If the urge to compare is too strong to ignore, measure yourself

against yourself. Once you truly understand how to let go of your comparison mindset, you

will see the world from an entirely different perspective.


The dangers of pinning our happiness/progress with on how we measure up to others are

too great to ignore. The more you desperately want to be like someone else, the more

unworthy you feel. The more you desperately want to be happier, the lonelier you become,

despite the awesome people surrounding you. The key to the good life you really need is

giving a damn about what’s important to your growth, career and total well being. Chances

are you are paying too much attention to negative information.


When you start aiming at something different — something like “I want to be better than I

was yesterday ” — your minds will start presenting you with new information, derived from

your previously hidden self, to aid you in your new pursuit and quest to become a better

version of yourself.


Happiness is being grateful


“Happiness depends upon ourselves.” — Aristotle


What is the one unique thing you are grateful for today? Practice writing everything you are

grateful for every now and then. Don’t write the same things every day. Selecting unique

areas of gratitude each day forces you to re-frame your perspective to look for the positive,

rather than the negative, aspects in your daily life. Gratitude has been linked to a host of

physical and psychological benefits, including happiness. One study found that grateful

people are 25 percent happier.


So whether you make it a habit to talk about what you’re grateful for, or you write in a

gratitude journal before bed, train your brain to look for the good in your life. It could be the

simplest, most effective way to boost your well-being. Charles Dickens puts this well:

“Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has many, not your past

misfortunes, of which all men have some.”


Key takeaway. When your happiness is in the hands of other people, they determine when

you can be happy. Free yourself today and be responsible for your happiness. The next

time you want to look for happiness, take a look at yourself in the mirror. That reflection is

the one who is responsible for your happiness. Starting today, exercise your brain for

happiness every day, and over time, you’ll train it for happiness and a better life. As you

increasingly install experiences of acceptance, gratitude, accomplishment, and feeling that

there’s a fullness in your life rather than an emptiness or a scarcity, you will be able to deal

with the issues of life better.

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